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The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

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by Pat C. Hawkschild (Author)

What if the worst vendors... are actually the most successful?

Welcome to The Art of the Shart-a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud satire on how bad vendors don't just survive... they thrive.

If you've ever sat through a meeting wondering how things went so wrong while everyone kept nodding like it was going great, then this book is for you.

This is not a guide to doing great work.
This is a guide to looking like you're doing great work.

Based on over 20 years of real-world experience (unfortunately), this book pulls back the curtain on the subtle, strategic, and sometimes absurd tactics used by vendors who:

- Miss deadlines-but control the narrative
- Replace progress with meetings
- Turn confusion into "alignment"
- Deliver less... while billing more
- And somehow walk away with contract renewals

Inside, you'll discover the art of:

  • Saying "next week" with confidence

  • Creating complexity where none exists

  • Deflecting responsibility across teams

  • Redefining success in real time

  • Winning awards... that you created

...and so much more.

This book is satire.
Mostly.

Because while the tone is humorous, the patterns are real-and once you see them, you can't unsee them.

Whether you're a vendor, a client, or someone stuck in the middle of a never-ending project that feels suspiciously like a dumpster fire, this book will have you laughing, nodding, and occasionally questioning everything.

Perfect for:

  • Anyone who has worked with vendors

  • Anyone who is a vendor

  • Anyone who has ever heard the phrase "we should have that next week"

Read it for the laughs.
Keep it for the survival guide.

Professional confidence. Zero results.

Number of Pages: 152
Dimensions: 0.33 x 9 x 6 IN
Publication Date: March 20, 2026
Shipping This item ships to
Delivery Estimated between and . Will usually ship within 1 business day.

Description

by Pat C. Hawkschild (Author)

What if the worst vendors... are actually the most successful?

Welcome to The Art of the Shart-a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud satire on how bad vendors don't just survive... they thrive.

If you've ever sat through a meeting wondering how things went so wrong while everyone kept nodding like it was going great, then this book is for you.

This is not a guide to doing great work.
This is a guide to looking like you're doing great work.

Based on over 20 years of real-world experience (unfortunately), this book pulls back the curtain on the subtle, strategic, and sometimes absurd tactics used by vendors who:

- Miss deadlines-but control the narrative
- Replace progress with meetings
- Turn confusion into "alignment"
- Deliver less... while billing more
- And somehow walk away with contract renewals

Inside, you'll discover the art of:

  • Saying "next week" with confidence

  • Creating complexity where none exists

  • Deflecting responsibility across teams

  • Redefining success in real time

  • Winning awards... that you created

...and so much more.

This book is satire.
Mostly.

Because while the tone is humorous, the patterns are real-and once you see them, you can't unsee them.

Whether you're a vendor, a client, or someone stuck in the middle of a never-ending project that feels suspiciously like a dumpster fire, this book will have you laughing, nodding, and occasionally questioning everything.

Perfect for:

  • Anyone who has worked with vendors

  • Anyone who is a vendor

  • Anyone who has ever heard the phrase "we should have that next week"

Read it for the laughs.
Keep it for the survival guide.

Professional confidence. Zero results.

Number of Pages: 152
Dimensions: 0.33 x 9 x 6 IN
Publication Date: March 20, 2026

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Shipping This item ships to
Delivery Estimated between and . Will usually ship within 1 business day.

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The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

$28.57
The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

$28.57
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